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Florida’s Unwavering Leadership: Elections, COVID-19 and Free Speech

In case you haven’t noticed, it seems Florida continues leading our backwards nation with its outstanding values and decisions time and again. From getting elections right to managing COVID-19 efficiently, we simply do not falter here in the Sunshine State! Moreover, let us acknowledge Beau Simon who showcased a brilliant demonstration of handling disruptive mobs promoting Hamas’s ideology on college campuses. His swift action was nothing short of remarkable as he tossed aside that chair like it was just another ragdoll- all while displaying an obvious annoyance at the situation! We have had enough, and so should you sane folks out there!

Now let us address those who dare to promote nonsense on our campuses. Go ahead with your protesting endeavors as rain hasn’t visited these parts in ages- welcome that sweet H2O shower during your rally! And if you plan to cover it up using chairs, well we have got a quick fix for that too – boom and gone just like that chair did!

Internet detectives confirm this legend goes by the name of Beau Simon who gracefully responded post viral fame. God bless you again sir as once more your splendor is witnessed across Florida’s finest land. Our state continues to be a shining example for others, with freedom and sanity at its core- we do not wear masks here nor have ever done so!

All are welcome in our domain but remember, act right or face the consequences promptly and effectively – from deporting undocumented immigrants via planes to sending sprinkler covers flying across a hundred yards of distance. Both strategies work just fine for us down here in Florida!

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