The Invisible Glass Child: Exploring the Effects of Growing up with a Sibling with Disabilities

Born into a family where her younger brothers were diagnosed with disabilities at an early age, Alicia Meneses Maples grew up feeling invisible as her parents had little time for her due to their other children’s needs. She shares the story of growing up in such circumstances and how it affected her during a TEDx talk she gave over 10 years ago. The term ‘glass child’, coined by Meneses Maples, refers to siblings who grow up with someone in their family suffering from mental or physical disabilities while often having fewer needs met due to the caregiver’s time and energy being dedicated towards looking after others first. Adult glass children such as Shelley Cook can carry guilt over a lack of focus given by parents on them, leading some individuals to set higher standards for themselves in adulthood out of a desire not to be seen as an extra burden or cause discomfort. Both sets of siblings feel guilty about the family situation that is beyond their control but have unique needs and wants that should still be met. The TEDx talk given by Meneses Maples brought Shelley Cook, who had also experienced growing up with a disabled sister, to tears as she recognized her own childhood experiences in the story told by Alicia. Both men and women feel a mix of emotions ranging from sadness to anger due to the realization that they did not receive enough support or have normal life opportunities available because their sibling required additional attention and resources during childhood years. As Meneses Maples’ brother David passed away at age 5, she also struggled with thoughts of suicide but was unable to share these experiences when others questioned whether she felt alright since children learn as they grow up that it is not appropriate for them to burden their parents further due to the already challenging situations faced by other siblings. Parents need to be aware of glass child’s needs and provide opportunities for decision-making around the house, which can lead to a greater sense of agency among these individuals. Research into how best to support such children is required as more people share stories about their experiences in this area due to its understudied nature so far.